When faced with a problem are you a blamer or an owner? You ask, “What does that mean?” Read today’s devotional and find out. God bless you.
Because of Calvary,
Proverbs 28:13 (ESV)
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
“I often put this case to my students: ‘Imagine that one of you walks out of this classroom angrily. You express disgust with me and my teaching ability. How would I feel?’ Usually my students are quick to volunteer. ‘You would feel angry. You would remind the student that you know his name and have his social security number.’ Another disagrees: ‘No, you would feel hurt. You know you try hard to be a good teacher. You would be sad that all your efforts would get such a response.’ Still another offers the opinion: ‘No, I think you would feel guilty. You would ask the student to come back and give you another chance. You might even try to apologize.’ Someone almost always suggests a compassionate response: ‘You would feel sorry for the kid. You would reason that no doubt there are other tensions that are getting to him.’…
“I then suggest that I might well react in any of the ways suggested. Then I add with great emphasis, ‘But notice this. There are so many possible reactions, ways I might respond. I’m not sure how I would actually respond. But this much is clear. My emotional reaction would be cause by something in me and not by the student walking out. Such a person can only stimulate a reaction. Something in me will determine the precise emotional reaction I have. What I think of myself, how I regard myself as a teacher, the importance I attach to the matter I am presenting ― all these things inside me will determine my precise emotional reaction. I must accept responsibility for this. And this is what I mean by accepting full responsibility for my emotions.’” [John Powell, Happiness Is an Inside Job, (Valencia, CA: Tabor Publishers, 1989), p. 29-30]
“In trying to account for our behavioral and emotional responses…we have only two real choices. Either we ‘own them’ or we ‘blame’ them on someone or something else…. The owner asks the only profitable question. ‘What’s in me? Why did I choose to do that or feel that way? Notice please that an owner does not excuse or explain away obvious misconduct on the part of others…. But owners know that they can only change themselves.” [Powell, Happiness Is an Inside Job, p. 30, 33]
“Please remember that this does not mean that others were faultless or flawless. It does not imply that certain situations were not difficult. It means only that even in dealing with flawed persons and difficult situations, we are still responsible for our own responses…. When our responses have been undesirable, we must find that ‘something in us’ and deal with it.” [Powell, Happiness Is an Inside Job, p. 37]